Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
