If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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