I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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