yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
