Christians are straight up FREAKS
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
