something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
