SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
