Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
