you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize