i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
