Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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