i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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