We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
