Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just pynch a tree in the face
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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