just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
