That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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