Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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