better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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