im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
