I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I want is dick and wine.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
