We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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