is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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