If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize