If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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