I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
