No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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