Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
