omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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