Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
