Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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