I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
