She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
