So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
