Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
