he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
