I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think my moral compass just broke
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
