he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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