I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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