Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
