my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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