my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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