Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
