There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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