Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
