pop tarts are not kleenex
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize