we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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