if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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