i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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