I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
