i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she looked like the before picture.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize