Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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