is your mom at the bar?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
