Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i've created a new STD.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
