shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
