We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
