I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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