What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
