WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
